i am gabriel

FROM ROB OF HELTER SKELTER / BLACK PANTHERS FAME

SMELLS LIKE

Ben Harper smells like jocks doing Commerce degrees.
Tool smells like a libertarian no-mates with a superiority complex.
Cat Stevens smells like inappopriate touching by a primary school teacher.
nu-metal smells like toejams.
pop-country smells like stale pork crackling and Twink.
alt-country smells like boredom and beard clippings.
The Beatles smell like a vintage speedboat, except for the later albums, when they smell like a repossessed yacht.
The Smiths smell like nitrous oxide, pumped through a damp Axminster carpet.
aussie rock smells like cheap port.
The Fall smells like cigarettes and typewriter ribbons.
The Skeptics smell like wet granite and fresh meat.

what do Sharpie Crows smell like?

my guess: burning hair and hummus.

sheepskin is the new black

I TIED A SHEEPSKIN
TO MY BACK
SO THEY'D THINK I WAS LOCAL
...GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR A WHILE


I SELLOTAPED GRASS
TO MY SHOES
SO THEY'D THINK I WAS LOCAL (LOCAL!)
GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR A WHILE

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA


PISSED MYSELF
IN THE MAIN STREET
TOLD THEM IT WAS A LOCAL STREAM
THEY BELIEVED ME BECAUSE THEY ARE Y0KELS

DROVE A TANK
THROUGH THE MAIN ST MCDONALDS
TOLD THEM IT WAS A BIG SHEEP
...GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR A WHILE


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

are Sharpie Crows actually Fat Freddy's Drop?

Evidence:

YES

-Both bands are from Wellington.

-Most SC songs only use two chords. As do most FFD songs.

-Both bands have wanky instrumental passages.

-FFD use amateurish cartoons for their cover art; SC use amateurish lino cuts.

-Both bands self-release their records (though FFD actually end up in shops).

-FFD love bonding over some quality kaimoana with a gourmet twist. SC share kettle water for Earl Grey and Mi Goreng.

NO

-FFD songs are really long. SC songs are mostly short.

-FFD's music should be listened to while cray fishing and hanging with your bros at the beach. SC's music should be listened to while smuggling a cask of Country Red into the library and passing out under the photocopier.

-FFD have internet fans who harass Simon Sweetman for not liking FFD and hating on kiwi music bro. SC have Nick Fulton.

Verdict: There are some similarities and some differences. They are probably not the same band, maybe twins but probably not because there are way more people in FFD.

FRIENDS! PAY US FOR MUSIC

The neat Bandcamp website is now hosting our albums. Click the links on the right of this page to have a look. You pay to download mp3s but it's cheap as. Like about 50c per song. That's the same as a Macca's pigfat soft-serve icecream. So go on. Thanks Damsels for the idea.

DESPITE WHAT YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU, BEING IN A BAND WITH CASEY JAMES LATIMER WILL NOT RESTORE YOUR LOST HEARING

I have a persistent hum and tingling sensation in my left ear. It comes and goes like rainy weather.